I Would Never Have Sex with Someone on a First Date
Why should I even bother whether or not to have sex with someone on a first date? In the first place, I did not even bother to think of having sex at all with someone or somebody. I do not even want to entertain the thought that I would like to have a date with another person because I focus on my studies. Nonetheless, for the sake of argument, I would definitely not agree to have sex with someone on a first date because I simply do not want to. Thus, why should I never resort to sex with someone on a first date? Please let me elaborate the reasons why I disagree with that idea about sex on a first date, as follows:
First, I do not know where my emotions would precisely lead me should someone make the first offer or move to have sex with me. Feelings sometimes give false alarms and can lead me astray, especially, depending on the gravity of my decision, action, and consequences. I may have a feeling with another person I have planned to have a date with because I am simply attracted to his or her physical appearance. However, as is apparent to most, if not all, of us, external look does fade. I do not want to be assuming that just because a guy or a girl has a good look, pleasing, glamorous, cute, and/or assertive that is why I want to have sex with him.
Second, I do not truly know the person. Why should I give myself to him or her at such as a brief moment as a first date? I am not “easy” to get despite the fact that am easy to belong or friendly (Cosmopolitan, 2012). I have friends to talk to being with them in times I want their care and advice. If all that I want is to release my sex urges, I should rather find other positive outlets that would not go against my belief and conscience. I would rather have biking moments, mountain hiking, or do other extreme sports. I would rather invite my loved ones to have a date with them than spend my time to someone I have never truly known for so long. Is it really sexual intercourse that matters for many of us on a first date? Maybe, yes; may be, not. It depends to whom that question is addressed to.
Third, some, if not most, first date just ceases to have another one. Some people would only like to play with girls. They do it for fun because they do not want to commit after having sex with them. All that matters to them is to get girls to have sex with them – and that is all. If I am a girl who thinks twice wanting to have a deep relationship with someone, I should have to know more first about the other person. It is only under exceptional cases that some people, after having sex on a first date with a girl, like to have another date with her. When they get to know each other better each day, the more they engage in sex until such time that the girl gets pregnant. They later tie the knot and have happy family life for several decades or for a lifetime. Nevertheless, like what I said, such is just one of the few cases that end well.
Fourth, I would never have sex with someone on a first date because I consider sex as something more than a man’s penis is inserted into a woman’s vagina until orgasm and ejaculation occurs. If I probably have sex with someone on a first date, then have another first date with another individual, is it okay to have sex again with another person? Is it fine to have sex to other individuals each time I have a first date with them? Is it understandable that every time I do not find a guy or girl to my satisfaction or did not commit to me, should I just have to continue with what I started to do, that is, having sex ‘trip’ on every first date? Do I feel and then look like someone who is a slut (Provost, 2013)? Even if that is not my intention to be like a self-styled sex sloven individual, I may end up like one even when I tried to avoid committing the slippery slope fallacy.
Fifth, I know that some individuals do not want to hear that only because they have sex with someone on a first date, they would feel and look like bitches, sluts or foolish. Some women are simply driven by their intense sexual emotions – no more and no less. I would rather try to understand what they are going through or gone through given the fact that some, if not many people, give way to their strong sexual urges because they feel very good at that moment. Who am I to judge if they have sex with someone on a first date? May be, that is the way they were brought up given factors such as peer influence, family history, and so on.
Sixth, even when I strongly oppose never to have sex with someone on a first date, I may have done it already. Who cares? Most people do it whenever they want to. Even when first daters have sex, it is simply because they want to delight with each other. On the other hand, even when other people would know that an individual has sex on each of his or her first date, they would not simply bother to care. What the heck should you have sex with someone on a first date? In the first place, why should they even bother to know about it? However, I may not be true to my words. Should there come a time that a guy or girl knocks on my door and ask me for a date, I may not even know where my acceptance to his or her offer would lead me. I can be a victim of my own rationalization not to have sex with him or her on our first date. Afterwards, due to circumstances and consequences of the strings of my indecision, misjudgment, and inaction, I would prey a victim to someone. Some individuals might have just the evil intention to deceive and coerce an innocent woman to have sex with her on their first date.
I have chosen to agree never to have sex with someone on a first date because that is my belief. In addition, I have learned through stories, experience of other individuals, and various literatures that it is better to keep your sexual urges in bridle. When I think twice or several times before doing something, I hope not to regret it later on. Hence, better not to do it in the first place because I would never keep back the original moment not to have sex the first time. As long as I have the self-control, discipline, and determination not to succumb to carnal desires, better to hold them at bay. As an advice from Lachmann (2014), “The amount of guilt and shame women can feel for acting on their desires ‘too soon’ can be paralyzing, no matter how enjoyable the experience was at the time.”
I may not be the person who could have a complete understanding of how I think, feel, and act. However, I do have a moral guide not to be swayed easily by my own thoughts and feelings. I need to be wise enough to enjoy every moment of my life not to do the things that would violate my belief. Having sex, becoming pregnant, and being a single parent later on is not a joke.
I want to teach my future children one of the best things that they can do for themselves as a favor: Never to have sex with someone on a first date, second date, and so on. Enjoy being a teen or adult surrounded by people whom you truly love you and love you. Have sex when it is the proper time to do it. When you are already married with someone who is responsible, loving, and caring, that is the time for you to have sex – not on a first date and for sex’s sake. I think that is not a bad idea or decision to make after all.
Learn to respect oneself so that other people with learn to respect you. If you keep on having sex with someone on your first date, you might end up having sex just to anyone else. It is good to be safe the first time than sorry because other people have venereal diseases. When you got the disease, it would take long to heal especially for cases such as acquired immune-deficiency syndrome (AIDS) and human immune deficiency virus (HIV). Thus, think of it should you never had sex with someone on a first date considering that “new relationships are delicate” (Heid, 2014, p. 11).
Like what I have repeatedly argued in this essay, I would never have sex with someone on a first date because I just feel like to. I want to have sex with someone I truly love.
Cosmopolitan. (2012, November). The Truth about Sex on the First Date. In J. Elia, & I. Chen, Sexualities and Relationships: An Anthology (pp. 12-14). Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers. Retrieved from Cosmopolitan, UK.
Heid, M. (2014). 10 Steps to the Perfect First Date. In J. Elia, & I. Chen, Sexualities and Relationships: An Anthology (pp. 9-11). Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers. Retrieved from http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/first-date-steps#
Lachmann, S. (2014, January 29). Sex on the First Date? Don't Feel Ashamed. In J. Elia, & I. Chen, Sexualities and Relationships: An Anthology (p. 8). Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers. Retrieved from Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201401/sex-the-first-date-don-t-feel-ashamed
Provost, J. (2013, July 10). Does Sex on the First Date Still Make You a Slut? Retrieved from iVillage Inc: http://www.ivillage.com/does-sex-first-date-still-make-you-slut/4-a-540880